Breaking the Mould: Overcoming Discrimination and Embracing Authenticity in the Workplace

The workplace can be a challenging and intimidating environment. You want to impress, you want to fit in, you want your career to progress. After 15 plus years in the professional world, I have learnt many things that have allowed me to perform at my best.

If I take myself back in time and recall my university careers advisor’s words: ‘Work hard and fit in.’ And so, with a brand new notepad, a shiny new pen, wearing a crisp shirt and tie, I excitedly went into my first graduate role. I observed my peers with focus and soaked up everything like a sponge: the way they spoke, the way they interacted, and the way they looked.

Did I work hard? For sure. But did I fit in? I did not fit in - no matter my performance or how white my shirt might have been, I could not. Some people could not then, and still cannot now see beyond what they think my fluffy beard and turban represent.

‘Do you have a table at home? I've heard your people eat on the floor with no cutlery.’

‘Do you eat samosas at Christmas?’

‘Can you take your beard off?’

In the early days, I did not stand up for myself. I was stuck in that indefinite WHILE loop, that ever so damaging ‘Do I fit in?’ cycle, which over time eats at your soul, causes you to feel sick, makes you break into a sweat, and sends you into uncontrollable anxiety. Let's name it. It is discrimination, in my case, racial and cultural discrimination.

The ‘fit in’ mould WHILE loop flowchart

When I could not bear it any longer and expressed my concerns at work, I was met by doubt, disregarding attitudes, and was pushed back with statements like ‘You are being too emotional.’ You'd think that's rather unbelievable by today’s standards, right? Things have of course improved, but let's be careful not to rest on our laurels.

Moving on. How did I break away from the expectation to fit in? I had to first recognise that this behaviour harmed me and therefore my work. I had to start healing and nurse my wounds. In the workplace, my strategy has been to actively instil habits to respect differences through education, and enable others to constructively call out discrimination. It means being proactive and implementing processes that benefit us all. It's more than allowing myself to be myself. I have been striving to be myself, because that's when I perform at my best. This mindset has served me well and has contributed to the success of businesses I have worked for and with. I share my story to empower others to do the same. Let go of fitting in, embrace being yourself.

I think what we can do is remind ourselves:

1. Promote awareness and educate at all levels - including the C-suite - so that no one can hide behind the answer of ‘I did not know or I do not understand.’

2. Understand the problem and gather data regularly with staff surveys, track ethnicity data regarding recruitment and retention, and review pay gaps.

3. Have a zero discrimination policy and be accountable. Embed empathy and tolerance in your values, training and actions.

4. Have processes in place to allow people to raise concerns and implement improvements.

I would like workplaces to live up to their diversity and inclusion policies, and ensure they are not just words. A good workplace should allow you to be yourself; it is your greatest strength.

In a wider context, when I look back, I sometimes wonder, which behaviour harmed me the most? The perpetrating of racial discrimination or internalising racism, denying myself self-respect. Both cause hurt and leave scars. Some of mine are still painful. No doubt I will get more knock backs, but I am now better equipped. I only have my own lived experience to go by, but I also understand that others may face other types of discrimination, and that several challenges can compound. To conclude, I would like to say we need to celebrate our differences. We are all different and we are stronger together for it.

The journey starts with you, being you.