There’s Something Different About This Flare-up

Denial

I almost forget the feel of a flare-up until it encroaches again, undeniable yet dismissed. As noted in the conversation with Dr. Raphael Micheroli, modern medications for conditions like mine have improved significantly. They've been effective, masking the dormant beast of my chronic condition—until the beast stirs. The pain creeps in, unshakable. My energy dips, each movement feels heavier, the brain fog sets in, swelling follows, frustration mounts.

It's taken me two weeks to recognise this flare-up warrants a visit to the consultant. Perhaps, it is because I am not in a conventional paid role at the moment, and therefore I am not experiencing the pressures the same way. Or maybe I have genuinely forgotten the grip of a flare-up.

But the consequences, the hardest parts, are still the same though. Accepting the reality of the setback, cancelling plans, in short, rearranging my life to cope.

Distraction

My most effective pain relief has always been distraction, coupled with my knack for mental escapes into the folds of my imagination. Currently, I’m cozied up with Netflix’s Big Boys, an ice pack on my head and a wheat bag on my shoulders, my arm awkwardly raised overhead to ease a nerve pinch near my tricep. My mind wanders to joyful everyday life moments—my favourite being the mornings with my partner who’s humorously grumpy about waking up.

Crying

Tears offer relief, a surrender to the moment mixed with sadness. This quickly transforms into action. I streamline my days. 

I fine-tune my nutrition: no alcohol and reduced caffeine. Enhanced sleep, more rest and dedicated stretches mark my regimen. Yet, this time, there's a stronger sense of certainty in my actions.

Authenticity

Perhaps this grounded response stems from finally engaging passionately with life, doing what I love. Living intentionally magnifies the pain of lost time and energy, but not my spirit. There's a profound acceptance now.

Community

So what's different this time? I am not alone. I've had the privilege of speaking with many of you, sharing our journeys, our triumphs and our most challenging lows. Thank you. I don't feel isolated; I've created, we have created, the very support I once lacked. This sense of sureness and deep acceptance stem from our collective strength.

With each flare-up, there's a hidden opportunity for growth. Navigating this familiar yet foreign territory, I am continuously reminded of the resilience we foster, not only individually but together as a community, our community.